Boy what a year it has been already. 

I faced the darkness of near death. Not of myself but of souls I care so deeply about. I saw darkness possibly worse than death… because with death there is rebirth… but with darkness without death… there is just darkness perpetuating darkness. I realize that I, and only I, have the ability to see, to adapt, to live in a cycle of life death and rebirth that allows growth. It is in my power to find the river and direct my flow. 

I’m being to drink the fragility of life. We are eternal, this I do not question, but our time here on Earth, the time with our loved ones can be unexpectedly cut short. I don’t want to wake up one day and think, how have I let all the days pass with such carelessness? I intend to live each day with consciousness, purpose, and with all the love I can possibly allow to flow out of my soul. 

I want to reach the end of 2012 and say, WHAT A FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL YEAR! So much was learned, so much accomplished, everyday—even the darkest hours—were a divine pleasure. 

So far I think I’ve done a pretty good job…. for one, I got a job… I’m already excelling at this job
I’ve gone 1,300 MORE into debt—but my doggie’s life was saved and I can’t put a price on that. So this year will be financially frugal, as I have debts to pay, and Ryan and I money to save so that we can spend all of next year traveling the great North American continent—seeking land for a future homestead, and learning opportunities for building our future homestead. But the year will be rich for learning, and for exploring California Wild-erness. (Ryan just bought a 4x4 Toyota truck!). 

Next to accomplish: stepping my foot into the realm of midwifery. I am going to volunteer at Blossom Birth (a Palo Alto birthing resource center). See how it resonates :)